Blogmas - December 3

I know that I've started a few days late but I was working on Sunday and Monday - no one wants to read about that, do they?

The Christmas Blog

Its Chrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiistmaaaaaaasssssss!

That's right. T'is the season to be jolly.

I know that it is still three weeks until Christmas but I am very much in the festive mood this year. Since the age of about 14, Christmas has become less exciting as the priorities of the day have shifted away from receiving presents.

However, this year seems to be a different kettle of fish. I attended Kingston's Christmas light switch-on for the first time in ages and I brought a hot chocolate from Starbucks the other day and it came in those lovely festive red cups.

Upon finishing university on Monday, I walked into Kingston town centre to purchase a present and card for my Dad's birthday and I decided it would be wise to begin my Christmas shopping.

I went into HMV and, after much searching, I brought Rihanna's new album for my sister. I expected the shop to be empty at 5pm but I ended up queueing for around ten minutes. And they say that we're in dire economic straits...

In addition to these exciting events, it also snowed in the UK today which really emphasised that Christmas is just around the corner.

Excitement is building, I have my MA Journalism Christmas party on Monday and a big friends of the family meal next Sunday.

Christmas should be celebrated in a jolly manner, so be merry and pleasant over the coming weeks.

Follow me on Twitter @Alex_Harris1991

The World of Topshop

It's a typical Saturday morning. I'm sitting in my chair, reading The Sun, watching Soccer AM and eating my breakfast. Multi-tasking at its finest, I think you'll agree. I had my phone on charge up in my bedroom and I went upstairs to go to the loo. I thought I may as well check my phone to see if it has charged. It had. Success. An early morning task completed.

I noticed I had recieved a text. A text inviting me somewhere. It was from my friend Alex. It read, 'Do you want to come to town to meet me becky and rice at like 1 to 1:30 ish??'. As any good friend and reader of the classic Danny Wallace book Yes Man, I decided I only had one answer. Yes.

Now, here's an interesting sub-plot. It's also my parent's anniversary. Their 28th to be precise. My sisters weren't in at this time and weren't coming back all day so my parent's weren't exactly dissapointed I was going out. If you can read between the lines, that is a sentance I never wished to write.

So I had arranged to meet Alex by the roundabout. It's a well known place in Berrylands. It's almost as renowned as the pub. However, he was late. His mum was giving us a lift into Kingston, yet an apparent trip to petrol station was taking longer than expected.

I had been sitting, waiting for an age and then some lady proved that women drivers are in fact rubbish. Of all the parking places, she decided to park right by where I was sitting. The cheek. How dare this lady play mind games with me? How dare she take over my land? I thought I should stay strong and remain where I was. I had to win the battle of minds for men all over the world united against women drivers. I got up and called my friend. He informed me he was nearly here. I had lost the battle of the wills against the lady. She walked off to the park knowing she had won.

Suddenly, a massive group of OAP cyclists flocked through the park and round the roundabout. I had never seen such a thing. This day was starting to become rather odd.

We eventually arrived in Kingston and we met up with Becky. We went to Topman to buy one so Becky could buy a girl friend some socks. Yes, I did say Topman. It's odd how women can get away with wearing mens clothes, yet it's considered strange how men can't wear womens clothes. Although I guess it is odd to see a man wearing female clothes. Anyway, we soon went to Topshop in search of these socks and then it began.

As any man will know, it is a frightening experience entering a female fashion store. Especially one without a male fashion section. I've been to these female fashion stores before with my mum but I always knew that as long as I stuck by her side and I didn't complain about being in the shop then my mum would happily go to shops that I would like to go too.

However, we soon got trapped. Becky had thundered around the shop at a lightening pace. We, though, were stuck. Trapped. Cornered in a small area of the shop surrounded by hundreds of female shoppers and dummies. As far as I could see we were the only men in there. We must have looked creepy and strange. Women will have wondered what we were doing there. They were probably whispering and pointing at us.

Luckily we soon escaped what was fast becoming hell and caught up with Becky and went to the top floor. It was here where the men were. The men who were there for their women. Their female friends, wives, girlfriends, daughters. The whole male spectrum was here and they all looked equally fed up and petrified. One man was carrying his girlfriend's bag, one was following like a depressed sheep and another was merely standing at the side. He looked especially trapped and lost in this world for high street female fashion. I wanted to nod to the man to give him the 'I-feel-your-pain' look but if I had I suspected he would have been even more distressed.

We eventually made it to the male safe haven of HMV. I was looking for Ninja Assassin, but another soon caught my eye. Ninja Cheerleaders. It sounds brilliant. It has ninjas who are cheerleaders and they must compete in a strip competition to gain some much needed cash. It seems like a film that is probably worthy of an Oscar. It only had one downside. It was £12. However, I've found a copy on Play.com for £5 and I plan to buy it soon. If you're lucky I might even give you a detailed review of the film.

The Hour in Kingston

Something terrible has just happened. Something that any regular user of Spotify Open will tell you is the worst possible thing to happen. I have run out of minutes. Some people reading this will be asking, “Why are you using Spotify when you can illegally download for free?” I’ll tell you why. I am upstanding member of society. I like to set an example. I want to be the model citizen. I can, just about, understand the mentality of people who illegally download music and then go out and purchase said music. However, I simply use Spotify for this function.

I had recently stored up to 20 hours worth of listening time. I rationed my Spotify time like I was in some kind of war that rendered Spotify minutes the most important commodity available. I had, however, dwindled these minutes away recently after discovering two albums, Coastal Grooves by Blood Orange and Sbtrkt by SBTRKT. Upon using up all my listening hours, the time had thus come to purchase these two albums.

My planned sojourn into Kingston to purchase these albums took a twist though. My dad was in his room reading the newspapers just before he was about to go to bed and he asked me to look up whether the album Electric Warrior by T-Rex was available to purchase anywhere. I duly checked and informed him it was only a tenner in HMV and I told him I was going to Kingston the next day to buy some CD’s so I said I’d pick it up for him.

So, the time had come. I decided against my better judgement to walk into Kingston. I had recently stumbled upon a shortcut into Kingston so I followed this new, brave path to reach my destination. It was exciting. It was fun. It was new. Within 15 or so minutes I had reached the outskirts of Kingston and I noticed a road name that I had never previously seen. Splashwater Close. I’m sure there’s a joke to be made somewhere there.

Soon enough I was in HMV. I hadn’t been into HMV recently yet I wasn’t at all suprised to see that it had changed its layout yet again. That seems to be the main problem of HMV, it never has a settled layout. I thought it brilliant I didn’t manage to get lost. I had managed to find the two albums I was after in decent enough time which left the elusive CD that my dad was after.

After ten minutes I was going mad. This CD was so bloody elusive. In the ‘Rock and Pop’ section they stocked a few T-Rex albums apart from the one my Dad was after despite his assurances that this particular album is a “classic”. I very much doubt this statement. I began to search high and low. Literally. I even begun looking in the ‘Soul’, ‘Dance’ and even the ‘Metal’ section. It was clear I had lost the plot as I started marching around HMV like a deluded maniac. I eventually gave up.

I had paid for my purchases and decided to walk home the traditional way via a stop at Greggs. On the corner of the street there were some large, afro-caribbean guys handing out hip hop CD’s. Or at least I thought they were. One of the group handed a CD to me proclaiming they were “14 tracks of pure, old school hip hop”. Ok, I don’t particularly love hip hop that much but seeing as it was free, who am I to turn down 14 tracks of pure, old school hip hop?

I went to grab the CD and asked, as is polite, “Is it free?” I began to notice the man tightly grab the CD that I now appeared to be trying to steal from his hand. “No, you need to make a donation”. A donation? That’s a slightly odd way of asking for money. I personally donate money to UNICEF but I’m not exactly in the business of donating money to the Kingston hip-hop community. I don’t see it as being that worthy a cause. I began to walk away and then one of the other men said something almost inaudible so I promptly laughed and said “ok”. That seemed to do the trick. It’s always the safest thing to do when you can’t understand someone.

I walked into Greggs and began to try and work out what he said. When I got up to the counter I had indeed cracked what he had said. I believe he said “I’ll pop you for that”. I now know that I’ll need to be very wary and on my guard whenever I am around members of the Kingston hip-hop community.

Follow me on Twitter @Alex_Harris1991

I've also started my own YouTube channel, you can watch one of my videos below: